Effective networking can change your life, but FIRST you have to put in the WORK!
Listen as Rico Love drops a few gems on how to get through this particular struggle within the hustle.
Effective networking can change your life, but FIRST you have to put in the WORK!
Listen as Rico Love drops a few gems on how to get through this particular struggle within the hustle.
Set some goals and challenge yourself to accomplish them...That's the only way you'll find out whether or not you're fit for the job! If you feel like no one is giving you an opportunity to do so, CREATE ONE!
Being fearful of taking that big step is natural, but like myself, and Scottie Beam you have to push yourself and see your GOALS through!
"If you don't know you have IT, you'll never know how to use IT" - T.D. Jakes
Watch the video below:
I understand the premise of your “competitive” spirit…. but believe me when I say there is room in this industry for ALL OF US!
No matter what field of work you're in, they can always use ANOTHER WOMAN.
You are subconsciously giving men MORE power when you tear your fellow working sisters down! In order to WIN, thou must be confident enough in thyself to stand STRONG!
I have met ONE too many females in the work place who are looking for a competition when there SHOULDN’T be….
Lets take it back to my days as an intern: I remember being excluded and left out of chatty patty conversations each and every time I was in the office.
Despite the days I was left to eat lunch alone, this exclusion made me focus more on my goals to actual EMPLOYMENT and successfully completing the internship. (Of which I DID)
Long story short, I was the only one hired from the group, and the "CATTY" girls were sent home. My bosses recognized the energy and made the decision based on someone who can contribute to a TEAM.
You see how far competing gets you? NOWHERE and F A S T !
As women, we have so many feminine secrets that only WE can attest to…therefore sticking together ONLY makes sense.
We don’t have to be the best of friends, but respecting each others role within the workforce CAN and WILL make us STRONGER.
It is extremely noticeable when vindictive arrogance comes into play; it is a negative energy that reads ALL OVER YOUR FACE.
I can always tell when a salty witch is in the room!
When your goal is to succeed, the path of others should never MATTER.
You’re only holding yourself back when you begin to compare and plot on someone else’s downfall.
Don’t let your insecurities get in the way of your talents.
You never know which of these ladies can aide you in a DOPE COLLABORATION.
Complex Media : Art + Design
I will never forget how excited I was to take my passion for journalism to the next level. Located on the Avenues of the Americas, was the Time & Life Building standing tall, awaiting my presence. I took the elevator to the 35th floor, and proceeded to walk through the Complex Media doors. The editorial assistant in the Art+Design department guided me to my seat and told me to wait for further instructions. I saw the editor, Ce… lets just call her "Stephanie," sitting at her desk from the corner of my eye, and at that moment I received a G-chat message, welcoming me, along with a 'writers guideline.'
The beginning of my journey at Complex started with transcribing interviews and extensive research. I was always excited to listen to audio and type everything out verbatim; I say this with absolutely NO sarcasm. I would have been happy to wash windows at Complex. I was so grateful to be in the building that it didn’t matter what department I was in, or what I was doing; I had no pride.
Imagine transcribing interviews of foreign artists, deep accents, and technical art terms that you didn’t know the meaning of… at that point the rewind button + GOOGLE were my best of friends. I would feel so accomplished when the work was done; it felt like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders every time I completed a task. I was learning more and more by the day, and within the next few weeks, my duties began to get serious; I was now WRITING my own Lists and Features. As you may know, Complex is full of LISTS that take a lot of time for someone who is new to the game... or maybe I was just slow. For example, projects such as "The Best 50 Graphic Designers in the Game" would require detailed content on the artists and their work, photos, links, and more.
My first list took me three hours, and that very day the editorial assistant showed a little bit of concern on how long it took me to complete what for her was very simple. The writing was the least of my worries, I was stuck between all of the technical bullshit! The excel-like sheets, html codes, and photo research, is what really kept my eyes peeled to the screen.
Keep in mind that I did not socialize with anyone because of the massive workload I was given. Everyone seemed so nice, but there was literally no time for me to chat! I'm sure some probably thought I was a standoffish bitch, but in reality, all I wanted to do was finish my projects in a timely manner. Sad to say, but I eventually let my nerves get the best of me. I felt so uneasy knowing my editor sat a few feet away from me, but would only communicate via G-Chat. I got nervous every time she walked by to use the restroom; I tried smiling, as if I wasn’t having any difficulties uploading my pieces when in reality I was ALWAYS on edge. You'd be surprised at how AWKWARD I was. There were days I didn’t take a break in fear of missing deadlines.
I left Complex with a headache every evening I was there, however, the joy I felt when my work was published was indescribable. It made all of the anxiety worth it. I remember getting on the train, and praying to God that the team over at Complex wouldn't sense my self-doubt. I was not confident at all.
Lets take a minute and think about what I just said; Miabelle Bocicault, the Queen #CareFreeBlackGirl who would pop off at the drop of a dime was intimidated at EVERY level whenever she walked into the Complex headquarters.
There were a few times when the editor, confronted me via email about her concerns on my "pace." I am so much of a perfectionist that I did not want to submit a piece without reviewing it 102038283 times, because by then, even the editorial assistant had a problem correcting minor errors. One thing I learned from Complex, was that SOME editorial assistants aren't too fond of EDITING…aka doing their JOB.
The easier and faster it is/was to publish…the better.
This was a complete learning experience for me; being put under massive amounts of pressure, and taking rude puns from the editor was not easy for someone with my character traits. I literally did the best I could, and even took work home, and called-in on my off days.
I will never forget the night I was scrolling through my twitter timeline and saw that my first BABY via Complex was up and running. I threw my phone across the room and jumped around the house until I was out of breath!
To others it might’ve meant nothing, PERO, to me, it meant the world!
This solidified that I had a chance at doing this in REAL LIFE…I was actually DOING IT and didn't even realize it.
These were the instances that gave me hope, and allowed me continue the journey…BUT on March 4th 2014……………………………………..
….. [It took me a while to understand what God was doing in that particular moment; what I can say is that I will always thank Complex Media for the experience, the credentials, and most importantly the art.]
To be continued IN THE PRINT VERSION! Do remember that this is just a TEASE :)
The next installation only gets better! -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Love you for reading xo--------------------------------------------
My first question when dating a man who does NOT have the pleasure of checking the African-American 'box' is: “Have you ever dated a black woman before and how did that work out for you?”
My most recent ‘experience’ claimed to have dated women of "all types," as if that answer was supposed to make me feel more comfortable... when in-fact, my QUESTION remained the same: “Have you ever dated a black woman before…”
Why, you ask? Lets just say we're d i f f e r e n t.
Understand that I can care less about the Portuguese, Russian, and Latina, women that have served a purpose in your past; I'm sure they were all equally amazing but……
My question is 'Have you ever-dated BLACK…?'
Let me explain:
When I say “Black” I am referencing, the girl who wraps her hair at night to prevent a fucked-up hair situation the next morning.
-The girl who unwillingly spends her entire Saturday in the hair salon because it takes THAT long. (Keep in mind the other women patiently waiting to get their wigs tamed)
-The girl who freaks out if you get her hair wet.
-The girl who will complain if you don’t have a shower-cap in your bathroom.
I am speaking of the girl who smells of the coconut oil/cocoa butter that keeps her skin moist.
-The girl who faces being categorized as “aggressive” if she dares to have an opinion.
-The girl who is considered a “BITCH” when she knows exactly what she wants and refuses to settle for less.
-The girl who you assume has no feminine attributes JUST because you deem her unattractive.
-The girl who is EXPECTED to tend to your every need.
I’m talking about the girl who is QUESTIONED about her race whenever a man finds her somewhat appealing... AS IF being BLACK can never look ‘that’ good.
-The girl who is over-sexualized simply because of her shapely figure.
-The girl that you claim was ‘ASKING FOR IT.’
I am sure that women of all ethnicities can relate in one way or another, but as a man, if you’ve never dated BLACK be prepared to learn something new...
All in all, the moral of the story is that I like to make sure the men I date are well aware of what they are getting themselves into when dealing with a strong-willed black woman who sleeps on silk pillow cases.
Like many, my culture represents a big chunk of who I am as a woman. If you can’t get hip to the attributes and understand that black women come from a long line of societal strife, there is 99.9% chance that we are NOT a match!
The Sapphire: Rude, loud, malicious, overbearing angry black woman
The Jezebel: Seductive, alluring, promiscuous, and predatory black woman.
The Matriarch/Mammy: Strong-willed, caretaker, unattractive, asexual black woman.
These stereotypes have evolved during the unfortunate era of slavery, forcing African American women to be scrutinized by their race and womanhood till this day.
I am very aware that this piece may rub a few hearts the wrong way…nevertheless remember WHERE you are reading this….MIABELLENYC.com
Feel free to state your opinion :) This is now an open discussion...
God Bless and Stay Black
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Love you for reading.
Enter my world, as I invite you in to judge the reality of MY hustle. I can only speak for myself when I say that handouts weren't a part of any of the goals I’ve accomplished thus far, but believe it or not sometimes I WISH it were that easy. Early mornings, long days, extreme commutes, and sleepless nights make up 1/3 of my struggle, nevertheless, STILL finding ways to seemingly keep it "together."
Those who know me personally, know the train wrecks I’ve been through while taking these steps, however, everything in my mind, body, and soul tell me that each experience will be WORTH more than I can imagine.
Learning to work SMART and not HARD is a process that I am still trying to figure out… READ as I take you back to the beginning of my hustle.
Keep in mind that the hustle still continues...
Understand that my commute has been a huge part of my “struggle.” Not having a license meant that I had to wake up earlier than the early birds to arrive anywhere on time. This entails leaving my house hours before I had to be somewhere that is normally 30-40 min away in real time, extreme right? This wasn’t your regular train ride into Manhattan either, I was taking the bus out of Hempstead L.I (one of the worst neighborhoods in the area) straight to Jamaica, Queens (even worse) all to get to the F train, only to deal with the NYC wackos that were heading in the same direction as me. Many ask why I didn't take the LIRR, but thats simply because my metro card was enough of an expense at the time. Back to the bus: Everything from physical altercations, arguments, and music playing as if headphones were not of this generation happened everyday. Coming home was always a nuisance; the smell of Kennedy Fried, and Beef patties took over the N6 bus every night as I traveled back to my place of comfort. I’ve witnessed close to everything during my commute, crackheads mounting the bus with open bottles of Hennessy (my favorite), people urinating on themselves, attacking the bus driver and more…let your imagination take you there.
Two busses and a subway ride later, I am half asleep walking into my 8:00am AP Spanish class that started fifteen minutes ago. An hour later, class is dismissed and I can finally stop pretending like I understood what the discourse was about. I had to lie to my professor and tell her that I worked late nights as a bartender so she can ease off, on the days that I came in late.
Next stop, Brooklyn - I started out with an unpaid internship with a street wear brand (Entree LS) that lasted about six months to a year. Legal? Probably not… Anyhow they started me off with posting on their blog that was more than likely getting zero looks. In my mind, this was a way for me to flex my writing skills and to see my work on an official website other than blogspot. It also gave me the ammunition to spread the word and get people involved. At Entree, I got my hands on any and everything they possibly needed me to do; posting on social media, preparing for photo shoots, booking & styling models, hair, makeup, literally whatever I could do to help. All of that work led to me receiving my very own Entree Lifestyle email and later on a permanent position. No one could tell me I wasn’t legit, I was officially Mia@entreelifestyle.com. Although I wasn’t getting paid at that specific point in time, the experience I was gaining seemed golden. They also laced me with whatever t-shirts and sweatshirts I wanted; so in my eyes, they were teaching me, and gifting me with free clothes. Who could deny that? (I probably should've BUT this was all in the beginning stages of my hustle)
All of the while, I was finding ways to work 30-35 hours a week as a floor supervisor at Wild Pair, a shoe store located right in the middle of Roosevelt Field Mall. Just know that my customers consisted of pimps shopping for their "hoes," (literally) strippers, fashionistas, kids trying to be grown and MORE. I had to make money somehow right? All of that time spent, didn't make me rich but I was able to buy a metro card, food, and books every semester. (My shoes were also 50% off so it helped LOL)
The grind was real. My life was strictly about school, work, interning and the commute.
As I excelled in all of my journalism courses I wanted to put my grades to the test. Were these professors just skimming through my papers, and blessing me with A’s and B’s or was my work truly valid? Next stop, Hunter College Radio… I think I found my niche. I will never forget Tom, the guy who taught me how to manipulate Pro Tools and make voice recordings for my news snippets every week on the WHCS Radio Station. Every Monday, I would sit in a small room on the 1st floor of the Thomas Hunter building and record my voice over and over again until it was raspy. “Good morning, this is Miabelle Bocicault and you’re now listening to WHCS…”
Two semesters later, I managed to have my own show titled “The Juice.” Every Wednesday at 4pm I was live on Hunter College Radio, giving the latest scoop in entertainment as well as playing DJ with my favorite tunes from an old IPod.
Although, no one in cyber space probably listened to my show, my nerves would jump whenever I walked into the studio to go live on-air. My attitude would change in front of that mic, I was a new person, my voice was stronger, and my demeanor was untouchable. After months of practice, I wanted more. Thankfully at this time, one of my media classes offered an opportunity to work with a REAL publication located in the South Bronx. Yes, I said the SOUTH Bronx, a place where you had to constantly avoid stepping in the SHIT that filled the sidewalks (literally dog shit). No disrespect, but out of all of the “hoods” I’ve ran through, this was something different. After a few of my pieces were denied, my Editor-in-chief finally published my first music feature titled “East Meet’s West On Hip Hop Stage” on November 19th 2012. Little did I know, that my 11pm ride on the 6-train headed to a showcase of Javanese Hip Hop, would soon change my outlook on my entire career.
That feeling of accomplishment after my piece was published has never left me. Seeing my work in print, available for the whole community to read still gives me chills. At that moment I knew that this was what I wanted to do for a living, THIS made my crazy routine worth it!
STAY TUNED FOR THE NEXT INSTALLMENT….. It only gets better ;-)
Love you for reading,
Dear Black Women,
You have every right to be offended when your fellow Caucasian co-workers interrogate you about the many modes in which you may style your kinky-curly hair!
How often does Sally, Jane, and Margaret tell you they wish they can braid their hair and rock a natural twist-out they way you do? Sorry to break it to you my "sistah," but they’re lying… Let me ask you this, does Rachel, Victoria, and Gretchen uninvitingly run their fingers through your hair as if there was a gravitational force drawing them closer to your scalp to answer their many questions?
If so, here is the perfect way to avoid their ridiculousness; but first, lets acknowledge a shared truth in regards to women all over:
Every single woman from planet earth has encountered hair disputes; white, black, yellow, green, or whatever race you choose to be, (since that’s morbidly acceptable in this day and age) understand that we all go through the same struggles when it comes to the shaggy strands of hair that grow from our heads. In the end, hair is important to us all!
Back to the point of this essay: I hate to say this, especially in reference to one of the best movies ever, BUT the Alicia Silverstone act during the only hours of which you’re supposed to be professional, (rather than clueless), is not appropriate for the ingenuous “black hair” questions that are doubly offensive. As an adult, it should be a mutual understanding that race has a little bit to do with physical traits, including hair texture. How else did you think black women could go a full week without washing their hair and still look presentable and most importantly remain clean?
Dear Annoyed Black Women,
My advice to you is to simply respond, “I am black” to all questions/comments referencing your beautiful mane. This is the obvious answer when it comes to lackluster inquiries that are un-deserving of an explanation.
As harsh as it may sound, us black women do not ponder on how white women get their hair pin straight, for we already know that a blow dryer and a flat iron can easily do the job. Those very same tools happen to work wonders on the thickened locks that we were conceived with!
Dear White Women,
Since we’re on the topic of hair, let me answer your questions now so you don’t ever have to offend another black woman at your job again!
You’re VERY welcome in advance!
1. Unless we want to wear our hair in a curly fro, getting it wet for the hell of it is not an option.
2. Number 1 is why we wear shower caps.
3. Blow Dryers and Flat Irons work on us too.
4. The coarse texture of our hair allows us to have braids that wont slip out of our heads.
5. The same extensions we use are equivalent to the clip-ins you attach to your head.
6. Extensions = Weave; Weave = Extensions… it is the same thing. Get it?
7. Perms/Relaxers make our hair straight and make your hair curly.
8. Oil/Grease serves a purpose for our hair. We need it!
9. A real hairstylist can style every, and any texture of hair gracefully…RACE doesn't apply.
10. Don't ask anything you can easily GOOGLE :)
You are all beautiful. Don’t be disrespectfully inquisitive when it comes to the physical traits of others, especially to something as SIMPLE as hair. It’s really not that hard and "us" black women hate it.